Senior year is one of those things you anticipate for a lifetime. Every 13-year-old grasping the latest issues of Seventeen sitting in front of their favorite TV show about high schools is in for a rude awakening. Instead of being “saved by the bell,” this senior it trying to keep that bell from ringing.
There is something menacing about the future. Something hostile in every adult who inquires what my plans for after high school are. All these things are constant reminders that my days as a senior are numbered.
As of this writing I have 101 days until graduation, 78 days until acceptance decisions are released, 54 days until prom, 39 days until spring break, 17 days until financial aid has to be completed, 1 day until Eros, and one day before an article about time running out is due.
As seniors we feel like we’ve been stretched thin like trampolines. We juggle the weight of the world at times and it appears to be doing acrobatics. We are loaded with expectations, commitments, and responsibilities. Parents who expect us to be as good as them or place the responsibility on us to become better off than they were, are lurking in every corner. Finding a balance between fending off senioritis and filling our lives with activities to support our own expectations of what senior year is supposed to be, gets harder as time progresses. But all the while we still ask one another, “Do you feel like a senior yet?”
We wait for it to kick in while anticipating for the letters or phone calls which will shape the direction of our lives. I think the pressure of getting into a good school is no less than the pressure to feel like that is what should matter. I think about my friends with everything carefully planned out, while admitting to each other that their parent-approved vocation isn’t really what they want to do. Or the people who really just want to get away from it all, or the people with aspirations like giants, but having only the resources of ants. I think about what would happen if all the tension placed on us at this point was released and trampolines turned to parachutes and we could escape to a place where two times two was four and the capital of Hawaii was Honolulu. Where spelling tests had smiley faces and the only challenge were sneaking an extra brownie into your sailor moon lunchbox to prove to the other kids your mom packed the best meals.
Still, when I look back on all the things we have done, I know that there is so much I wanted to do before I thought “the last time…” would creep up on me. The last time to go to a homecoming game, the last time to enjoy the winter concert, the last time to meet at the lockers or in math class during 8th period, and saddest of all the very last time to shout out “Praise the divine class of ’09!”
I wonder if I tried hard enough if I could convince the sand from running out. But time is not a temptress that one can master. Life is like old school Mario Brothers. You cannot stand still and you definitely cannot go back when you are afraid to move forward. You have to either dodge or face the hardships that will, and do, come your way head on. I just feel like the music has sped up and it feels as though I don’t have enough time to collect all the golden stuff high school life has to offer. When I reach the big castle at the end I want to be sure all the memories I’ve collected confirm it was worth it.
So seniors and any readers alike, take a moment and be happy. There is no use in trying to stop the clock; you can only hope to fill the moments you have left with joy, and show the people you love the most how much they mean to you while you still can. “Living life to the fullest” is a cliché I would try to avoid. But I do suggest you “live the now,” because it is temporary. So have fun now. Relax now. Smile now. Say hi to that guy or girl you like right now. So live your life now, because tomorrow is always chasing after you.
