graphic by Nakya Castille
Sara.
It was very naive of me to believe life could get better for me after the year I had in 2019. That had been the year of my life. I had visited the city of my dreams—Los Angeles, California. I remember when I was driving on the crowded and busy 405 highway, I passed the venue of my dreams—The Forum in Inglewood, California. Even though this was the first time I had visited the City of Angels, it felt like home. I remember how my heart ached and my body dragged itself all the way to the airport. I repeatedly told myself I would be back next year; what a lie that was.
A multitude of concerts carried on through the rest of the year, and it was wrapped up and sealed with a pretty bow in the form of an album. On December 13th, 2019, Fine Line by Harry Styles was released. That album has changed my life in ways I cannot find the words to do the justice it deserves. Looking back now, that album and many others got me through quarantine. It still feels like yesterday when I bought my tickets to see him live in Denver, Colorado and Los Angeles, California. Every day since March 13th, I still wake up with the uncertainty of seeing him cancel his tour.
2020 was not only the year I would find myself at my happy place more often; it was going to become the year I started making serious choices for my future. I knew I wanted to start building my portfolio for photography, and since I had six concerts lined up for the first five months of the year so far, I knew it was the perfect opportunity. However, I turned out to be wrong.
It pains me to see the Gothic Theatre, The Fillmore, The Ogden, and Bluebird all boarded up as I drive down the narrow and lively streets of Denver. When I see my saviors boarded up, it is like I am looking in a mirror. I am closed off to the outside world, but inside me lives the happy memories. Looking back at all my footage and merchandise spent, I shed the most painful tears as that barbed wire feeling gets caught in my throat.
To most people, I am merely an “obsessed fangirl,” but to my friends and myself, I am just in love with music and everything that surrounds it. Yes, I may have my favorite artists and I will support them to the moon and back. However I was raised by two highly educated people with highly diverse backgrounds. I can listen to The Notorious B.I.G. and then switch to Metallica and then change to Billie Holiday and then listen to Harry Styles. I never have and never will limit myself to just one genre; it is simply not in my DNA. I crave to find new sounds and artists and it is eating me alive that I can not go to local venues and discover new artists coming up in the scene.
As this pandemic has made everything digital, I have had my fair share of virtual concerts and discovering plenty of new and upcoming artists through social media platforms such as TikTok and Instagram. Considering this is how life will be for a while, I guess I will have to adapt to doing everything virtually. This was most certainly not how I anticipated my year or my life, but all I can do is hope for a brighter future. Like I always say, once you have hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up.
