TJ students bond and find meaning outside of school. photo by Kevin Kowlczik
Being surrounded by friends has a huge impact on individuals’ lives, and Thomas Jefferson High School does an exceptional job of fostering a healthy community for students to encounter diverse friendships.
Having a community to lean on impacts students and the way they are treated immensely, and the connections these individuals find gives them the ability to rely on others whenever they feel down. Having friendships and being around supportive adults who will help guide students through life is extremely important, but students must also stay focused on who they are choosing to be their friends. Falling into the belief that people should only be friends with the “popular kids” is made all too easy, but that is a lie no one should adhere to in their life. Trailing the crowd can lead any student down a path they may not truly wish to follow, as students become easily influenced and sometimes sucumbe to peer pressure all because they wanted to fit in with the popular kids.
Instead, find people to connect with; seek individuals who share passions, have the same humor, same hobbies, or simply just a similar interest. Friends should just click. That being said, this does not mean everyone will be a perfect match, but discovering students who have similar interests is where growth begins. Junior Alysa Lewis explained that, “a healthy community keeps me responsible and helps our community be connected to create a better environment.” One of the most important aspects of a friendship is understanding that the imperfections of a person is what makes a relationship so full, especially breaking those shortcomings down, understanding them, and growing into them with the friend.
Having a strong circle of friends can also be supportive to students’ mental health. Having a single person a group who can, be there and uplift a friend when they are down and help them heal when they are hurt is beneficial in multiple ways. A good friend does not mean that this individual will always know what to say, or even always understand the struggles one may face, but having someone to just sit and listen to what someone is going through can be helpful as well. Sharing the struggles and embracing vulnerability within friendship is crucial because the whole point of friendship is to have someone stand by an individual’s side whenever something is going on and support is needed. In a healthy community such as TJ, junior student Simon Turner found that he was able to have people to rely on and people to “give you some solid advice when you’re unsure what to do.” A friendship gives a safe space to share struggles, no matter the trouble surrounding it.
Thomas Jefferson caters to a diverse community, so everyone has an opportunity to find someone that they enjoy being around. According to Lewis, before coming to TJ, she “ used to have a lot of friends from middle school…” but when she got to TJ, a lot of them faded away. While being at TJ ultimately drew some of her friends away, she elaborated by saying, “in my classes I was able to find new people and new friends with the same goals and aspirations as me and grow together as time goes on.” To build on the fact that TJ has a great surrounding community of people, Turner was able to develop his friendships further by simply “having classes with them.” Having great friendships is critical, but being in a place where people are able to find those friendships is the beginning of it all.
Friendships aren’t perfect and they never will be, but growing through the struggles and confusion together is what strengthens friendships— this effort makes them unbreakable. Being at TJ will help students build a strong foundation, and taking a step of courage into the unknown towards finding someone new to talk to is very important.
