The end of an era comes with more than just happiness, it comes with an overwhelming case of senioritis.
Friday, December 10th –I remember it like it was yesterday– it was the day my future was certain, I had been accepted early decision to Occidental College in Los Angeles. It was in that moment that everything about my mindset had changed, the notorious “senioritis” became very apparent. It hit like a real disease. I felt more exhausted thanks to my new lack of motivation. Expecting this disease throughout high school definitely made it worse, but without a doubt, it has been very hard to push through. The “itis” hit really bad when I had gotten back to school from winter break in January, but reached its peak after spring break. I was ready to take the desk out of my room and move in my fun bean bag chair. I think it went without saying that I was ready for summer more than anything else.
Everyone says, “keep going, you are almost there, finish strong!” They are not wrong, I do want to finish strong and feel confident in the work that I did when I finally leave high school. However, when I get home, wake up in the morning, or am sitting in 4th period before lunch, I feel the words slipping away, the curiosity about what I am learning and the drive to complete the work to the best of my ability become less and less with each passing day. “The workload will only get worse” they say. I know that is true too, and that only makes me feel that this is the time I maybe, just maybe, can get away with not putting in 100% effort. I think about everything that has happened over high school, the growth I have had and the work that I have done, and I almost feel justified in my terminal case of senioritis. High school has given me more than just a foundation for college and endless homework or projects, it has given me many memories and lifelong friends. This case of senioritis symptoms are not only loss of motivation, but also a sadness and feeling of growing up. As I leave the school halls, knowing I will not return, I think of the fun times and group projects that kept school bearable.
The more I look at my college majors and hear my sisters (who are both in college) talk about how nobody ever looks at their high school GPA or anything even relating to high school, the more I only think about all the different things I could be doing with my dwindling time in school. I think, “I could be hanging out with my friends, or spending time with my mom and dad, or my dog, who will all be thousands of miles away in less than three months.” Even though school gives me the tools I need to succeed in the future, I can not help but feel that it is pointless at this moment. As I get closer to graduation, I want to make more memories doing fun things with the people I love and will miss, than stressing over assignments that won’t matter in a couple weeks. However, I take my mom’s words to heart, as she tells me to “earn my summer” and that I will want to look back and think I finished my high school education with my best foot forward.