As my faith continues to grow, the opportunities to share it do as well. (Billy Rodriguez speaking at a national conference) photo by Youth For Christ National
As faith continues to impact my life as well as the lives of the TJ community, I reflect on my personal beliefs.
(The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Thomas Jefferson High School or the TJ Journal.)
I never knew of God growing up. I never went to church as a kid, and I hadn’t read a page or verse of the Bible. So why do I believe? Well, it’s not because I grew up in a church, a family of faith, or because I was forced by other people or a preacher. I believe because for 15 years I was faithless. I thought life was nothing more than living for success in sports or school. Sports were always an outlet for me, so I knew going to high school was going to be a big deal. My freshman year, I was a three sport varsity athlete and I qualified for state in two sports. Going into my sophomore year, I knew I had big shoes to fill and was unsure whether or not I’d truly live up to the expectations set for me.
During the football season, I began as a starter, but was benched about halfway through the season. I ranked top ten in wrestling for a period of the season, but the day before regionals, I tore or partially tore a lot of ligaments connected to my ankle. This injury obviously took me out for the rest of the season and led me to question a lot of things in my life. I had gone through some tough relationships and had some harsh rumors spread about me weeks before, which I carried with me and they crushed me mentally. I began battling silently, wondering why I felt so invaluable and unfulfilled. I had this Jesus-sized hole in my heart that I tried to fill with so many other things. When relationships, people, lies, and approval couldn’t fill the void, my life began to come crashing down.
Through all of the chaos after my injury, I did one thing. I said a prayer. The first one of my life. I said, “God, I don’t believe you are real, because if you were real I wouldn’t be going through everything I’m going through. If you are supposed to be the God who only does good, why am I so depressed?” That was it, and nothing happened. No clouds from heaven came down on me, I didn’t hear a loud voice, and I didn’t feel anything. It furthered my belief that there was no God, and if there was, he didn’t care about me. My depression deepened. I began dreading getting up for school, talking to people, answering my phone, and even eating dinner some nights. I’d just sit in my room and cry. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone else so I kept my mouth shut because of who people at school knew me to be.
I began questioning if I even had a purpose on this earth. One week, the struggles had become too much for me. I was unsure what I’d do next. That same week, I was awakened in the middle of the night by this bright light in my room. I’ll never know if it was a dream or a vision, but it felt so real. I remember that standing right in front of me, was the image of Jesus. The exact words he said to me were, “If you know that I’m real and you know that I exist, why do you continue to live in sinful ways knowing you won’t make it to the Kingdom Of Heaven?” So then I fell down to my knees weeping. I knew it was time to change my life, so I went to church that week for the first time in my life. They sang a song called “Reckless Love.” The lyrics were, “the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God. It chases me down, fights till I’m found, and leaves the 99.” And as I sat in the first church service of my life, I looked at my life and said, “oh my gosh, that’s me.”
I knew it was time to fully change my life so I returned the next week. Nobody shamed me for who I was or what I’ve done and nobody pointed out all of my wrongs. Instead, they welcomed me with open arms. When I returned for my second ever church service, not knowing it was a baptism service, I watched people get baptized while they played worship songs and I wept in awe. Watching these people experience breakthroughs and hearing similar stories to mine was so powerful. They stopped the service halfway through. While the worship leader was looking in my direction she said, “If you’ve never been baptized before and you’re ready to give your life to Jesus, find a leader and we will make it happen.” I stopped, thinking that God was speaking directly to me.
So that day, May 5th, 2024, I gave my life to Jesus, and I haven’t looked back since. I felt called into ministry, to reach broken hurting people who felt the exact same way I did. I started a Bible Study club at school to do exactly that. The mission was not to force the Bible or Jesus down anyone’s throat, but to show them that no matter what they believe, they are welcomed, valued, and loved. The club then grew to 70 participants by the end of the year, and we started the next year with 98 students in one lunch period.
My life is a continuous testament to the realness of God. I’ve experienced healing in the name of Jesus through prayer and I’ve had conviction and information about someone’s situation that only God could give. I could go on forever, but my faith should not dictate yours. Everyone’s journey looks different. I will never force anyone to follow Jesus but I will live my life in efforts to tell people about what I believe to be the truth. I want people to experience breakthroughs the way I have and experience freedom from whatever they are facing in the same way I have. I’m an open book to sharing my story and my faith in a respectful manner.
I’m always open to answering questions about my faith. No, I’m not perfect, that isn’t the message of what you just read. I do want people to know that it is okay to be broken and imperfect because the God I serve does the cleaning up. I love the saying “refusing to go to God because you’re guilty is like refusing to shower because you’re dirty.” That was my life. I let guilt drive me away from this loving God. Do not let that be the case for you. If there is a God, do you want to have a relationship with him? If the answer is yes, do not leave your questions unanswered.
*If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, please know that there are helpful resources available. Click here for more information.
