If you want to escape into the realm of happy endings, this list is for you.
Artwork by Mia Nogueira
They make us laugh, they make us cry, and they leave us with a warm, happy feeling. Romance movies. But, sometimes, it’s hard to find one that’s sufficiently saccharine, and you’re stuck with a movie that, while still romantic, is far too close to real life. This is where I come in. I have for you a list of the top ten most schmaltzy, most sappy romantic movies I could find.
10. The Lake House (2006) Based on the Korean film Il Mare, The Lake House is the story of two people living two years apart communicating through a mailbox. A lonely physician just moving away from her lake house (Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side) begins to write letters to a frustrated architect who has just moved in (Keanu Reeves, The Day the Earth Stood Still). The movie involves a lot of hit-and-miss attempts at meeting up as well as big, dramatic scenes with lots of crying.
9. About a Boy (2002) Will Lightman (Hugh Grant, American Dreamz), a rich and immature Englishman, invents an imaginary son and starts attending single-parent meetings to pick up women, sure that none of the women would be looking for commitment. But when Will meets Marcus (Nicholas Hoult, A Single Man), and his depressed single mother (Toni Collette, The Black Balloon), Marcus and Will bond in a way neither expected, and the friendship helps both to mature. It’s a typical feel-good romance, and had me bawling by the end.
8. Down With Love (2003) Journalist Catcher Block (Ewan McGregor, The Men Who Stare At Goats), is the ultimate womanizing ladies-man, and has every woman in New York City eating out of the palm of his hand… except for feminist advice columnist Barbara Novak (Renée Zellweger, Case 39). For his latest article, Catcher must go undercover to expose Barbara for the romance-obsessed woman she must really be! The plan backfires as Catcher finds himself falling for Barbara, but then everything goes haywire as Barbara figures out what Catcher is up to. It’s the ultimate “it made me laugh, it made me cry” movie, and a great chick flick for a sleepover. In other words: cheesy!
7. Music and Lyrics (2007) This story of a has-been ‘80s pop star and the plant-waterer-turned-lyricist he falls in love with has a touching and sentimental storyline with incredibly corny characters. Of course, it’s only to be expected with such leading actors as Hugh Grant (American Dreamz) and Drew Barrymore (Whip It). In addition to being a chick flick, the movie is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on pop idols, which explains the cheesiness. The romance in Music and Lyrics was cliché, but it was the best type of cliché; both of the romantic leads refused to admit that they were in love with one another, but eventually found their “happily ever after.”
6. Love Actually (2003) Set in England during the five weeks before Christmas; Love Actually is the story of multiple intertwined and loosely related love stories. The main love story is of David (Hugh Grant, American Dreamz), who can’t bring himself to tell his personal assistant, Natalie (Martine McCutcheon, Jump!), that he loves her. Meanwhile, David’s older sister Karen (Emma Thompson, Last Chance Harvey) is beginning to notice her husband Harry’s (Alan Rickman, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince) infidelity with an office worker named Mia (Heike Makatsch, The Door). Karen’s friend, Daniel (Liam Neeson, After.Life) is a recently widowed writer helping his 11-year-old son deal with his first crush. While this is happening, Jamie (Colin Firth, Dorian Grey)-another writer-has just left his cheating girlfriend and is traveling to France to write a novel, where he falls in love with his Portuguese maid Aurelia (Lúcia Moniz, Second Life), who doesn’t speak English. During this time, Harry’s secretary, Sarah (Laura Linney, The Other Man), is having difficulty pursuing a romance with office hunk, Karl (Rodrigo Santoro, Post Grad), because of relationship troubles. While all this is going on with the main characters, several random love stories are thrown in, to create an overpowering atmosphere of love that would satisfy any chick-flick fanatic.
5. While You Were Sleeping (1995) Lucy (Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side), a lonely token collector at a train station, has been obsessing over Peter (Peter Gallagher, The War Boys), a man who rides the train every day. While working on Christmas day (because she has no family to spend it with), Lucy witnesses Peter being mugged. She rescues him and brings him to the hospital, where he immediately falls into a coma. Because of a miscommunication, Peter’s family believes Lucy to be Peter’s fiancé (which she’s not), and welcome her into the family. As she spends the holidays with the first family she’s had in a long time, she begins to fall in love with Peter’s brother, Jack (Bill Pullman, Your Name Here). Of course, there’s the problem of Jack thinking Lucy is engaged to Peter. This movie comes with all the cheesy flirtation and happily-ever-afters required to make for a sappy chick flick.
4. Cry-Baby (1990) This campy romantic comedy set in the ‘50s tells the story of Wade “Cry-Baby” Walker (Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland), leader of the gang called the Drapes. When Cry-Baby falls for “square” Allison Vernon-Williams (Amy Locane, Visiting), and steals her from her yacht-club boyfriend, their newfound love begins a battle between the two groups. Although technically a parody, Cry-Baby is cheesy in its own right. The characters are outrageous, and the main characters get out of seemingly impossible situations with the greatest of ease.
3. Casablanca (1942) As one of the most classic romantic movies of all time, it’s only natural that Casablanca would be among the cheesiest, as well. Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart, The Harder They Fall) is the owner of a Moroccan nightclub during World War II, and although he consorted with thieves, gamblers and fugitives on a daily basis, he never expected the woman who broke his heart (Ingrid Bergman, A Woman Called Golda) to walk in. Ilsa (his ex-lover) hopes that she can convince Rick to help she and her fugitive husband (Paul Henreid, Ballad in Blue) escape to America. Of course, we find out that the love still burns between the two, and that they were meant to be. Utterly sappy, but a wonderful watch.
2. 13 Going on 30 (2004) Jenna (Jennifer Garner, The Invention of Lying), an awkward preteen, wants nothing more than to be a successful adult. After a disastrous thirteenth birthday party, Jenna’s wish comes true. She wakes up the next morning a thirty-year-old woman in a strange apartment (which turns out to be her own) with a job as the fashion editor of her favorite magazine, Poise. After exploring this new world, she runs into her old friend, Mark (Matt Ruffalo, Where the Wild Things Are), and realizes that she’s loved him ever since she was 13. Delightfully corny, with the message that every awkward little girl will grow up into a beautiful fashion editor for a successful magazine, 13 Going on 30 is one of the best chick flicks out there.
1. Titanic (1997) Based on the story of the historical boat of the same name, Titanic tells the tale of two people who come together through the most unlikely of circumstances (sound familiar? It should, it’s a cliché). Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road), a poor boy who just barely scraped up enough for a boat ticket, with dreams of arriving in America, and Rose DeWitt Bukater (Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road), a debutante going on a pleasure cruise, meet up as Rose is dramatically threatening to jump off the front of the ship. Jack, of course, pulls her back from the edge and thus begins their forbidden romance. The two spend most of the rest of the movie flirting and avoiding Rose’s jerk of a boyfriend, Cal (Billy Zane, Darfur), until the boat begins to sink. Rose and Jack manage to escape the boat, and float on a piece of driftwood that is apparently only big enough for one of them. Jack gives up his life for his true love, despite her protests, and the entire audience is left bawling. The ultimate schmaltzy movie, Titanic is a must-have for every sleepover.
