Laine Gaherty, staring into the soul of her Expo marker that just ran out of ink. photo by Ben Scherer
A compilation of one hundred and one aspects of life that put a damper on my day
Someone chewing with their mouth open. Nobody wants to see and hear what you’re eating if it’s already in your mouth.
Finding out you have a sports event early in the morning over the weekend. Weekends are supposed to be chill!
A sibling hogging the bathroom. Do you really need to spend 10 minutes blow drying your hair Levi?
Your pet randomly not showing affection even though you provide them with everything they could ever want.
When popcorn kernels aren’t popped in a microwave popcorn bag. I gave them the heat and the time they needed, why are they so stubborn?
Dropping a metal water bottle in a parking lot. One, it’s loud and two,your water bottle isn’t surviving that much trauma.
Finding a parking spot and realizing it’s for item pickup only. The car is already in park, don’t make me waste more gas.
Heating up food, and the bottom of the dish is cold. I already put my noodle dish in for three minutes, how come when I take a bite, I get a half hot and half cold noodle?
Running out of toothpaste or deodorant. These things are necessary, why do they think they have the right to walk out of my life?
Waking up thinking it’s Saturday but it’s Tuesday. This one speaks for itself.
Running out of ideas when writing a list. A list is supposed to be long and plentiful, if you run out of ideas, what is the point of writing one?
Breaking a nail. My nail should be able to take the force of a gust of wind, and yet it still somehow splits in half.
Ordering at a restaurant, and realizing you don’t like the meal they gave you. I’m already spending $30 on a pizza and fries, and the cooks have the audacity to ruin it with fancy toppings?
An expo marker running out of ink. These things have a 1 min shelf life.
Driving and realizing your gas level is low especially in the winter. I don’t want to drive to a gas station and get snow in my shoes as I try to remove my credit card “rapidly”.
Someone cutting you in line. If I have to suffer before I get my desired item, you have to too.
When you have to rent or buy a movie. I mean come on, my family is already paying for the streaming service, why do we have to pay extra?
Getting a stain on your clothes. A food stain can really put a damper on your day especially if you’re at school.
Getting shampoo in your eyes when showering. Somehow shampoo has the ability to spawn directly in your eyeball even if you’re nowhere close to your face.
Accidently swallowing gum. That cold piece of gum sliding down your throat as you cough is one of the worst feelings ever.
Waking up with a sore throat. I already know at this point that my whole day is ruined.
Stabbing yourself in the eye with a mascara wand. I’m trying to make myself look presentable, and I don’t think a watery red eye is gonna help me with that.
When the toilet won’t flush. Especially if you’re at someone else’s house.
Coming home to a dirty room or house. I want to lay in my bed, but it’s kinda hard to do that if a whole month’s worth of laundry is sitting there waiting to be folded.
Getting a paper cut. How does this even happen? IT’S PAPER.
Missing a step on a staircase. The little jolt of pure fear will never fail to surprise me.
Having to share a bed with a sibling when traveling. You always end up on a tiny sliver of the bed, while your sibling is hogging the rest of the bed.
Realizing you went the entire school day, with something on your face. That’s what friends are supposed to be for, and yet they didn’t think to tell me, I had an entire meal on my face.
Studying for a test and getting a meh grade on it. I spent 2 hours of my free time studying and I still end up making silly mistakes WHY!???
Coffee (I don’t get the hype)
When a computer or phone freezes. These things are supposed to be reliable.
Remembering you have work to do after school. Especially after a hard day, realizing you have math or science homework is the worst.
Forgetting to do an assignment until the day it’s due. You try to quickly finish it in the class before the next subject, but your teacher tells you to close your computer.
When a gift card/coupon expires. Money shouldn’t expire.
Forgetting to pack lunch. You’re already in the process of driving to school, and when you realize you left your lunch at home, it’s too late.
Waking up late/forgetting to set your alarm. The origin of panic.
Thinking you have water in your water bottle but you realizes it’s empty (especially when you are thirsty.
When you’re eating corn and you can’t get the stuff out of your teeth. No matter what you do, a little string of corn will find a way to bother you for the rest of the day.
Chipping/damaging a fresh set of nail polish. That one messed up nail is going to be the only thing you can focus on for the next couple of hours.
Running out of shampoo while you’re in the shower. You can’t stop showering, and there’s no substitute for shampoo. At least when you run out of soap you can just use shampoo.
Stubbing your toe/finger. The sharp corners of our bed frames are out to get all of us.
Having a hangnail. If you try to remove it you end up peeling back your entire finger.
Realizing that nothing is eternal. Sigh.
Running out of hot water when showering. (or someone decides to do laundry the moment you get in)
When the power randomly goes out. Especially when you’re watching a movie or playing video games.
Having to unload the dishwasher. It’s unnecessarily loud and it takes forever.
Having to put a fitted sheet on your mattress. Every time I try to put the sheet on one corner, the other corner decides to snap back, no matter how I arrange it.
Running over a pothole too fast. Everything in your car ends up in the front seat.
Failing to hit a note, in a shower concert. Your imaginary audience is going to judge you for life.
Slow walkers. MOVE.
Airport announcements (nobody cares).
Having to get a late pass because of traffic. It’s not my fault, everybody randomly decided to use my route to school one day.
A bad container of squishy blueberries. You take one bite, and it’s over.
Losing something you use everyday. I still can’t find my sunglasses, I need an air-tag on everything I own.
Having to re-tie your shoes throughout the day. How does walking slowly unravel a double knot?
Eating a bad pistachio. AAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAaaaAaaaAaaaaa.
Chapped lips. You put chap stick on, and it just further dries them out.
One clogged nostril. It’s so hard to fall asleep, when all you can focus on is how hard it is to breathe.
Almonds. Ew.
Medicine commercials. The amount of possible side effects is diabolical, and yet the people in the commercial look like the happiest people alive.
Getting a shot/having to go to your yearly well visit. No, I don’t want to fill out 20 waivers all asking me the same question.
Sitting on wet grass. If you’re not wearing black pants, then everyone will think you had an accident.
When something is in your shoe. It’s there all day, because its too hard to take your shoe off and put it back on.
Annoying little kids, whose parents don’t know how to parent properly. (Or kids on backpack leashes).
Delay at an airport. I want to get to where I’m going, and the airplane or weather has the audacity to not be in perfect condition.
Hypocritical people. You just told me not to do something, and now you’re doing it?
Losing count of something. Especially when someone starts talking to you, can’t you see I’m doing something?
Losing cash. It’s just sad.
Getting ready for a plan that ends up getting canceled. I got off my couch to put real clothes on, just for you to cancel on me?
Days that should be snow days not being called. *Cough* *Cough* DPS.
Voicemails. Just call me back later.
The default alarm noise for apple Iphones. (you lose a part of your soul every morning.)
Pouring a big bowl of cereal, and realizing you’re out of milk. It’s truly an awful feeling, because now you have a dirty bowl full of cereal that you’re going to have to pour back into its box.
Squirting a condiment and straight up water shoots out. The whole meal is ruined now.
When people ask what you did during your day. I just want to go in my room and reflect in peace.
Pulling up to a gas pump, and realizing it’s out of service. It’s so awkward to back out, and drive to another pump, especially when everyone is looking at you.
A restaurant removes your favorite meal off their menu. *Cough* Chick Fil A’s veggie sandwich. WHY.
Misplaced sunglasses. Where could they have gone?
Scraping your car on a freezing morning. I’m already running late don’t make me be more late and cold.
When your cellphone dies in the middle of the day. I took a picture and my phone battery went down 5%…..I mean COME ON.
Daylight savings time. Save me the pain.
When someone sneezes or coughs into their hand. Now everything they touch is going to be infected.
Solicitors. Especially when you have a no soliciting sign.
People who like thin mints over Samoa’s. Thin Mints are just straight up chocolate cardboard, whereas Samoa’s are delicately crafted to contain all types of delicious flavors.
Paying for parking. I’m already most likely going to pay for a service at the place that I’m parking at.
Not remembering passwords. My phone is supposed to remember these things for me.
Slow typers. Don’t use your two pointer fingers for every letter on your keyboard.
When the waiter won’t bring you your bill. Please let me pay so I can go home.
Tipping. People are already getting paid for their job, that should be enough.
Pimples. They always show up before an important event.
Running out of windshield wiper fluid. I can’t SEE why cars do this. hehhehe.
Muddy shoes. Now you can’t walk anywhere without leaving a trail.
Sunburns and sunscreen. Sunburns are annoying and painful, and so is having to put on sunscreen! Evolution should have given humans natural sunscreen like hippos.
People who have the TV on too loud. Please, I don’t want to listen to a nationwide commercial at 80 decibels.
Christmas music and decorations in October. Let Halloween have its spotlight please.
January and February. Nothing to look forward to, but a holiday that makes you feel bad for being single.
Uncomfortable pillows. Hotels really need to refocus on their pillow brands.
Hot Uber cars. They always smell too.
Smoke detector being out of batteries. Beep….Beep…..Beep.
Age limits on kid meals. You’re paying for a smaller portion, anyone should be able to order grilled cheese and a fruit cup.
