The Green Hornet and Kato get along like third grade buddies, even when they fight.
Artwork by Michael Kutz
I love superhero movies. From the gadgets to the specialized super powers, I have always been a fan of heroic stories, which is why it was hard for me to enjoy The Green Hornet.
Yes, it has Seth Rogen in a three-piece suit riding in a menacing American muscle car, but to me the character of the hero is much more valuable than the machines he uses.
Britt Reid (Rogen, Funny People) is first shown as a grade school child, having a talk with his father James Reid (Tom Wilkinson, Batman Begins) in his office. James is the Editor-In-Chief of the local newspaper, The Daily Sentinel, and Britt was sent to see his dad after defending another kid from a bully. He was kicked out of school for fighting. We join Britt about 20 years later at a crazy party, living in the lap of luxury. Aside from getting taller, he hasn’t changed; he still has the mentality of a third grader.
Kato (Jay Chou, Initial D) is introduced as a servant who makes Britt’s coffee. After firing all of his home staff after his father’s death, he gets a plain cup of coffee instead of the usual fancy espresso he is used to. Like any spoiled rich kid, he throws a temper tantrum until he gets his fancy coffee. One of the staff tells him a man named Kato made his coffee, and he ordered her to bring Kato back. Kato and Reid spend the afternoon together, talking about their lives and how James Reid was a jerk. While cruising around town in now deceased James’ 1965 Chrysler Imperial, Kato bonds with Reid after saving a couple pedestrians from being mugged. After this, they decide that they could pretend to be criminals to take down the real threats to the city.
Kato begins making modifications to the ’65 Imperial, and after adding several weapons and stronger materials, names it ‘The Black Beauty.” For people who like cars, the Black Beauty will be a show-stopper. Outfitted to the teeth with guns, missiles, and gadgets, this car is the reason why The Green Hornet and his chauffeur don’t need utility belts. The car gets away with some ridiculous stuff, including driving without the entire rear half of the car and a thirty-foot sideways fall resulting in a perfect landing.
After a few nights of fighting gang members, Kato and Reid get in a fight over who is more important out of the duo and, like third graders, stop talking to each other for several days. However, they suddenly forgive each other in the middle of a gunfight and are instantly best friends again. What makes a movie really enjoyable is showing that the main characters have changed, and the only change the Green Hornet and his loyal chauffeur Kato go through are outfits.
I enjoyed the first 30 minutes of The Green Hornet; I thought the movie really had potential. It shows the Black Beauty – their vehicle of choice – as an invincible road machine, breaking through walls and deflecting gunfire. While it is a little over-the-top, these scenes added to the power Britt and Kato displayed. Afterwards, I saw that the character development had come to a dead halt.
A character sho didn’t make much sense was secretary Lenore Case (Cameron Diaz, Knight and Day). Britt inherited the newspaper after his father’s death, and shortly after that the paper hired a temporary secretary, Case, who has a surprisingly vast understanding of criminal psychology for a secretary, and she is someone for Reid to ask what the Green Hornet’s next move should be, because he has no clue what he is doing. In the beginning, Kato and Britt have a little slap fight over who gets the girl, but that eventually devolves to Case becoming a mother figure and a lot of gay jokes ensue, directed toward Reid and Kato.
Along with the characters, the plot has a few inconsistencies. The most obvious one is when the bad guy wants someone killed and hires a hitman. The hitman goes rogue and at least 15 gangsters pop up in the area (who were presumably making sure the target was killed). If the bad guys can gather forces in such numbers to enforce a kill, it’s pretty clear that eventually one of them would kill the target and there would be no need for a hitman. Also, if the car can receive faxes, why doesn’t it have a usb port? That would eliminate the last half hour of the movie, that’s why.
The venues where the car shines are when they are chasing Chudnovsky (Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds). He is in charge everything in the city, from nightclubs to illicit activities. After the Green Hornet starts taking out his business, Chudnovsky goes insane, but silly insane. When testing out his monologue, his most faithful assistant gives an honest response telling him it’s terrible. Chudnovsky kills him for one of the most pointless deaths in film since the several innocent contractors working on the second Death Star.
During The Green Hornet’s 1960’s television show, Kato was played by Bruce Lee, and some sketches of him can be seen in the current Kato’s sketchbook along with missile illustrations. This alludes to the idea that there was a Green Hornet before, in conjunction with a secretive father who had strong morals. In the history of The Green Hornet, the car and outfit were passed down through family, but this movie sidesteps that to tell its own story, even tossing away the fact that Reid’s great great uncle was the Lone Ranger.
I wanted The Green Hornet to be a noble hero, whose morals and money enable him to fight crime and do what is right, but it’s more like a rich kid discovers fighting gangs can be fun. This could have been a better movie if it was more believable. The Green Hornet needs viewers to be lenient with reality to enjoy it, but I like my heroes to be as real as possible.
★★☆☆☆
