Prices of necessities like gas are rising significantly due to inflation. photo by Jeff Chiu
A satirical and contemporary economic take on “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift.
Inflation has become a normalcy in the United States. The housing market has seen increases no one could imagine. Gas prices surpassed five dollars for the first time in 2023. With no end in sight, spending money has become more detrimental for families living paycheck to paycheck. As wages rise, prices will follow, creating a vicious cycle of increased inflation. The U.S. is becoming one of the most expensive countries to live in with little to no relief. From 2020 to 2021, the median housing price rose by 18.6%, according to the White House. Inflation is rising and there’s not much anyone can do about it.
In order to bring prices down and decrease inflation, we must find a solution. I have thought long and hard about a solution and I have a proposal: increasing the amount of counterfeit bills in the American economy will negate inflation. With more “money” in the system, goods will be easier to obtain. Flooding this system with counterfeit money will lower demand for products and increase supply, bringing prices significantly down. The more counterfeit bills that are flooded into the system, the easier it will become to purchase goods and services. This needs to be done in order to benefit the country and those who can’t even afford to live here. There are three easy and simple steps to start the rebellion against inflation in the United States. Step one: create efficiently made yet quality counterfeit bills. We need quality bills so as to not get caught; stealth and quality is key for us to be able to pull this off. Step two: flood the system. Getting the bills out into the open and using them to devalue the real bills is important. Flooding millions of counterfeit bills into the American economy will allow us to control inflation and bring down prices. Step three: Keep a low profile. We need to keep this under wraps. Keeping these bills in the system will be hard, but being secretive will allow the bills to continue to circulate around the economy to make the country more affordable.
This is the solution; it’s the only solution that makes sense and will work. This solution will be unstoppable if performed correctly and will bring down prices. Doing this will bring housing prices back down to an affordable price for everyone and will lower homelessness as well as give Americans a better quality of life. It will also create more jobs to boost the economy and allow more people to earn livable wages and higher salaries. Additionally, this system will make goods and services so much more affordable than they are now. Necessities like food, water, clothes, and housing will all decrease in price and make living in this country more comfortable. The quality of life of Americans will increase and inflation will decrease.
Working to enact this system into the American economy will have so many benefits in the economy. Slowing the rate of inflation and lowering prices on the necessities will allow this country to thrive once again. Tired of overpaying for things that you need to survive? Me too. Join me in my modern proposal.
