Strength comes in all shapes and sizes, and doesn’t discriminate in the face of devastation.
TJ Teacher Eileen Adair and her mom Sara in 2005.
Strength can be found in the ability to celebrate life in the face of tragedy. Healing through laughter is a powerful mechanism that reflects strength of character, and Thomas Jefferson Teacher Eileen Adair and her family have embodied this strength by which they have been deeply affected.
On August 7, 2007 Eileen’s mother, Sara Adair, died of heart failure at age 67 after her 13-year bout with cancer. The family found that laughter, of which Sara was a profound producer, was the best medicine to cope with their devastation. Eileen describes, “My mom and I were extremely close; we’ve been through a lot together.” Before the death of Sara in 2007 a series of events occurred that brought the two very close. Sara was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1994. “From the original diagnosis she was a great role model for people going through this because of her positive outlook,” said Eileen.
Sara underwent 18 weeks of chemotherapy to fight the disease, and opted to have a double mastectomy, a process in which both breasts are removed to stop the spread of cancer. At this time her brother Michael Johnson started drawing her short and hilarious cartoons about other ways she could use a bra, to brighten her spirits.
In 1999 while Eileen and Sara were driving through Wyoming the two were hit by a tractor trailer with a sleeping truck driver and both were hospitalized with serious injuries. After 10 days in a Wyoming hospital, followed by a year of recovery, Sara was diagnosed with a recurrence of her cancer, which had spread to her bones, and in 2001 was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow.
By this time Sara’s brother Michael was creating and sending her more stacks of the cartoons he had created while living in London. “She just couldn’t wait for the next shipment,” said Eileen. As Sara’s anticipation for the next batch increased, so did Michael’s creativity. He describes, “Nearly everything I saw seemed to have potential for ‘project 101’ which I code named to avoid funny looks at the office.”
By 2003 when Sara underwent tandem stem cell transplants, she had been bringing joy to women in similar situations by spreading laughter and Michael’s drawings. Sara and the family decided to take their book idea to the public, but had a very difficult time getting it published. As it turned out, “Many people don’t think anything surrounding cancer can be funny, but we had to in order to get through it,” explained Eileen. “Mom just wanted to bring a little humor to people in similar situations.”
After five happy and healthy years with her cancers in remission, Sara passed suddenly from heart failure, most likely a result of the strain her body had undergone battling the cancers.
Grief is as individual as the circumstances of the people who experience it. “It comes in waves. There were many times over the years when I prepared myself to lose her when she was sick, but I don’t think anyone can ever really be prepared to lose their mother,” said Eileen.
Sara was well loved and respected; over 700 people, including long-time family friend Susie Bacon, attended her funeral. Bacon, too, was trying deal with her grief, and as an effort to give back to the friend who she loved, she decided to fund the publishing of 5,000 copies of 101 Uses for an Empty Bra in October of 2008.
Eileen reminisced, “I miss her laugh. I really miss her during the times when things are funny and I wish we could share them together. That’s why this book means so much. She would be so happy that it is bringing people together with laughter. This book is one of her many legacies.”
It takes valor, strength, and in the Adairs’ case, perhaps even a bit of laughter to turn tragedy into inspiration. It also takes much courage to share a story so personal and so close to one’s heart, and it takes laughter and joy to bring a family together, to cope, and to overcome tragedy.
All proceeds from 101 Uses for an Empty Bra go to the Pink Ribbon Foundation and the Komen Foundation. More information about the book can be found at www.emptybra.com.
