Challenge Day opens the eyes of students, teachers and parents.
Photo by Alex Platt
For years, kids sometimes have been told to hide their feelings, to be tough, and that they are considered weak if they cried. “Students at school only show about ten percent of who they really are, because they are scared of what people will think or say about them,” said Mzima, one of the Challenge Day leaders. From January 26th through the 28th the Challenge Day program came to TJ to challenge the students to break down barriers and to “get real.” Challenge Day is a nationally recognized program that brings students together to help teens learn to be respected, loved, and accepted throughout their school and community. The program uses highly interactive and energetic activities to increase self- esteem, stop all kinds of violence, and to inspire students to be the change they wish to see and to get others to do the same. “My Hopes for Challenge Day was for people to feel united, to recognize they are not alone, and to try and alleviate bullying, teasing, and oppression,” said Samanda Davis, the Social Worker at TJ, who brought the program here.
Mzima and Tony, the leaders of the Challenge Day program, started out the day having the students come into the gym and see parents and teachers forming a tunnel yelling and waving their arms and getting the group energized for the day ahead of them. “The leaders told us before the students came in to be as crazy as possible, and to not hold back, because they didn’t want the students to hold back,” said Chris Holman, a parent who participated in Challenge Day. After getting everyone in their seats, Mzima and Tony explained to the group what the day was all about and why they were there.
For the first two and a half hours the leaders introduced the crowd to small games so everyone got the chance to warm up and get comfortable around their peers. There was one game where everyone had to find a partner (someone they didn’t really know) and link arms and stand back to back, then Mzima would play music and everyone had to dance with their partners while they were still back-to-back. When the dancing had ended, one of the leaders gave the couples a topic to talk about with their partner to know small facts about the other people in the room.
After the fun activities, everyone was brought back together where Mzima talked to the group about the fact that when people don’t let their feelings out, they begin to fill up their “balloon,” and when they fill up their balloon it gets bigger and bigger until that balloon bursts, or they start leaking their balloons on other people. Mzima explained that the kids who have their balloons too full are the kids who are getting into trouble, or are bullying other kids. Mzima says there is no such thing as a bad kid, so when a kid acts up or picks on another student he or she probably went trough a rough time at home and is leaking his or her balloon on other people. “Instead of yelling at the student for doing something wrong I want to talk to the student more and figure out what’s going on in their life,” said Assistant Principal Scott Lessard.
Mzima also talked about how boys get pushed into their “be a man box” that tells them to be tough, hide their feelings, and that it’s not okay to cry. She said girls get shoved into their “be a lady flower” where they are told how to act, and what to wear. During her discussion she talked about how people’s feelings are like an iceberg, because icebergs only show about ten percent above the water and the rest of the iceberg is underwater. Mzima describes that people hide their feelings and only show about ten percent of who they really are. Mzima and Tony’s goal was for everyone to lower their water level from ten percent to ninety percent, for them to step out of their comfort zone, and to open up and share their true feelings.
At the end of Mzima’s discussion, she opened up and told the group a story about what she went through in her life. Following Mzima’s story, Tony shared a story about what went on in his life as well. Then it was the students’ turn to open up. Everyone got split up into groups, called small families, consisting of five or six people, and that was the family everyone was with the rest of the day. Once the participants got acquainted with each other, Mzima had everyone close their eyes and think about who they really are, and how their life is, both at home and at school.
Then things got “real.” Each person got to speak one at a time for two minutes, about what really goes on in his or her life outside of school. Students had the choice of opening up or not speaking at all if they didn’t feel comfortable enough. At the end of their two minutes, each member from their family gave them a hug to show their support. “I felt a whole lot better after I shared with my family; it cleansed my soul,” said Kendra White, a junior who participated in Challenge Day. “Those two minutes meant a lot to me.” After everyone had an opportunity to speak the group got a small break to get a few hugs from friends and then got together with their “families” again.
At lunchtime, students sat with their families and ate with them instead of with their friends. Each member in the family got to know a few random facts about everyone. After lunch the whole group got back together with the leaders and played a couple more games to get the students energized again. Tony and Mzima then talked about oppression, which they described as an unjust or cruel exercise of authority or power. They mentioned that people get looked down upon because of the color of their skin, how they dress, how they act, their age, their religion, their gender, and how much money they have. The point they were trying to get across was that everyone has dealt with oppression in one form or another, but that they have also judged others.
The next activity was the “power shuffle”, which probably had the most impact and brought out the most emotions for students. “The power shuffle was the most memorable, to see all the diversity of people to cross the line. It was really powerful,” said Lessard. During the power shuffle the leaders made two lines with tape on the floor. Everyone then came together on one side of the line, then Mzima listed a series of categories, and when any of those categories applied to anyone in the room they would cross the line. Some of the categories mentioned were: If you have ever been teased because of the color of your skin; If an adult has ever hit you; and If you have been teased because they said you’re too fat.
“The hardest part of that activity was seeing a lot of my friends cross the line, and realizing how much they have been through, and how much of the same stuff we have been through,” said Richard Van Zetten, a junior who also participated in the event. This was a very emotional activity for students; some categories that were mentioned brought back memories that students have pushed to the back of their minds. “Some lines were more hard to cross; they opened up a lot of closed wounds,” said Richard.
A lot of barriers came down at this point and opened up more. “I like that students felt safe enough around the group to cross the line,” said Cheryl Johnson, Social Studies Teacher who participated in Challenge Day.
Once all the categories were presented, the group got back with their small families and everyone got the chance to speak what was on their minds again. Students were to talk about what they got most out of the last activity, what memories were stirred in their minds, and what category was the hardest for them to cross. If people hadn’t yet opened up to their small families the first time, most started to after the power shuffle had ended. After everyone had the chance to speak it was time to talk to the entire group. Tony and Mzima told everyone that if they really wanted to make a difference in their community then they had to act now and make the change themselves.
Then Tony and Mzima allowed students to come up to the microphone and tell everyone what they were going to do individually to make a change. There were a few students who were brave enough to make a sincere apology to someone in front of the entire the group in the room. A lot of students came up and thanked the leaders for taking time from their day to do the program with them, because it had changed there outlook on life. One student participant said, “Thank you Challenge Day for this life changing experience. You really made a difference at our school.” Many said that they felt one hundred percent better after talking to their small family; that they really felt like they have someone to talk to when they need to now.
Many of the teachers said they feel much more connected to their students now that they got to see some of their students really open up. “It was really nice to see my students in a whole new light,” said Wendy Doyle, a math teacher who also participated. Lessard also said he felt more connected to his small family and realized that there is always something going on in someone’s life, and that they just need a little support.
After Challenge Day, teachers and students have pledged to try and make a change in the halls of TJ. “I would really like to see students respecting teachers and have the students be more accepting towards each other,” said Doyle.
Lessard wants to try and figure out a way to have the teachers and kids on the same side. “I would like to convince the students that the adults aren’t their enemies, they are just trying to help,” said Lessard.
“Challenge Day really exceeded my expectations and I got good feedback from the students and the teachers,” said Davis. “I could really feel the power of what the program provided around the school.” Davis said she hopes that kids who eat alone will no longer eat alone, or that kids who get teased for being who they are will make connections and the teasing will stop. “I also hope that kids who feel their problems are too big for anyone to handle can find ways to talk about it and feel less alone and isolated,” said Davis.
While Challenge Day has come to an end, apparently its impact has not. “I think it is going to make a difference at TJ. I think the students were ready for the change and were open to the idea,” said Davis, who believes that throughout the halls of TJ, students everywhere are embracing the love of their fellow students, respecting both their classmates and their teachers, and they are representing the peace. In other words, they are following exactly what Mzima and Tony told them to do, “Be The Change.”
